One of my closest friends name is chaos, we are close, very close; chaos loves me like a pig loves mud. This relationship is tenuous at best; I’m not quite in love with the idea that we are friends. Lately chaos has been ruling our relationship; I have noticed this through the tangle of ideas in my head. I have realized that I have been trying to do too many projects all at the same time. I am sure I speak for many people and a lot of writers who can completely understand where I’m coming from. I have hit this point in my writing journey, where I am thrilled with the prospect of my debut book releasing; that excitement has energized my writing ideas. The list of writing I need to do and the writing I want to do are often in direct conflict, again, this is probably nothing new to many out there but for me this is a constant struggle.
Just to offer a small idea of my woes, I try to blog twice a week; I am successful part of the time, sometimes only writing one blog per week. I am happy with this if I am happy with the post. Now here comes the craziness…I am working to get my first book published by January, so lots of planning, promoting and generally doing things I have never done before, which I liken to cooking in the dark…I am reading, editing and trying to finish my second book by the end of the year, which I liken to giving mental birth to something…I have also been working on the premise and first chapters for up to five other projects that have been in my head in some form for the last several years, and I figured now was the best time to get my ass in gear to get them started for real. So I know what you are thinking, you are bat shit crazy. I would have to agree whole heartedly with that sentiment. This all might be doable if my full time job didn’t get in the way, haha; thus my problem.
I have come to the realization that I need to focus. As much as I would love to work on all of these at once and feel that I have made Herculean progress on many things, I have decided, against my will, that I will try to focus as much as I can on just three parts, getting book one published, writing my blogs that I will try to keep weird and interesting, and finishing book two; all in that order. Ah, there just isn’t enough time in the day. I envy people who only need four hours of sleep and still be able to function like a champ. As I begin to feel like I have lightened my load to a manageable size I still see a large task before me. I think it may be time for a nap.
I have the greatest admiration for anyone who has huge demands of their time and especially for anyone who does things they don’t necessarily want to do. It reminds me of a line from the movie Gladiator, when Maximus’ man servant responds to the question, if he finds it hard to do his duty, his response was spot on…sometimes I do want I want to do, the rest of the time I do what I have to. I encourage everyone to take mental stock of these things in your life, while there are many things we have to do, take the time to prioritize the things you want to do. Sometimes that is the only way you can make room in your life for the things that make life worth living. Focus on getting done the stuff you don’t want to do, so you can do the stuff you do want to do. Then focus so hard on getting done all of those projects you are dying to get done. I’m going to turn off the T.V. now so I can focus.