I’m conflicted to be sure, I am forever grateful that my book, that I have toiled over for some time was given the chance to see the light of day by my publisher and I believe it deserved it completely. But now I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Going into any business is a risk, many publishers don’t make it, and timing is just really bad right now. So on that note let me say to my team who helped me along the way, thank you so much again for helping me achieve a life goal that I almost never dreamed would come true. I know we will keep in touch and we will work together again, if I have anything to do about it. The opportunity is special, I feel more whole than I have in a very long time. I will never forget you and maybe just maybe, we will reach new heights very soon.
So here is the lemonade part, I have been knocked down, kicked in the teeth, and left for dead…pardon the drama but I am a writer, I have some license to go there…but this is not the end by a long stretch. I have overcome many hurdles to get to this point and this is one more bump in the road on a very bumpy road. The publishing industry is tough, especially tough on its writers, which is ironic and disconcerting. I have a lot of work to do to get my book back in the real world but please be patient with me…this will not deter me. I will be working as hard as I can to get it back and have the next installment ready to go. Can you say determined? That is me right now, frustrated but determined. I shall not be daunted, I think Robin Williams from The Dead Poet Society would say I look daunted; he still inspires me to be undaunted and undaunted I will be.
The other good news for my fans, I have a few thankfully, is that for all of those who purchased a print copy of saint Sebastian, thank you very much by the way, you will have a very limited first edition; you heard it right. That puppy is special, more special to me than most know; maybe one day it will be worth some money to go along with the enormous sentimental value it has for me. In the short time it has breathed life it has done better than I expected but it still has a long way to go. I still have books from the first edition and it can still be ordered until May 31; truly I am not hawking my book today, this is just me venting, announcing, and trying to come to terms with a new reality. I read a little today and how extra special it seems, the first edition, an expression I never thought I’d say, something that will never happen again for my baby.
The expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” is interesting to me, it assumes lemons are bad and I actually like them, many of us do; maybe they aren’t a first choice of food but through lemons we get some amazing things, lemonade being the most obvious. This makes me think about my book and the words of wisdom it actually contains, for those who have read it, they will hopefully understand; my main character speaks to life and how the struggle is real and the precious few moments that are awesome come and go, while we spend most of our time trying to find them. I take comfort in my own characters thoughts, they are mine but they are the characters as well; I would have never been able to express everything I have without them. That may seem strange to some but it is absolutely true, ask any writer. I am rambling for sure but my brain is in panic mode and problem solving mode. If you follow me I ask that you keep me inspired, keep me on track, and keep me grounded. Today I’m drinking lemonade from the proverbial lemons I have been handed but I’m ready to take on the world and reclaim what is mine.
For those who think you only win if you finish first, do not know what the hell they are talking about. Life is about putting it out there and doing what is important to you and forgetting what others say or think, that’s a hard lesson I learned a long time ago. It’s not that you won the race; it’s that you were in the race to begin with. Okay, that’s it. In the mean time I will be working diligently to find the mountain top again. Wish me luck. Thanks to all.